Mode of Adam
by Insomniac Owl
Summary: There's a whole ocean in his head.


**Mode of Adam**

_by Insomniac Owl_

-

(A/N) The title of this story is taken from a song by the band Dir en Grey. It has, however, no relation to it or them.

* * *

"Ah… Fuck."

A stream of smoke, Sasuke's fingers digging through his pockets. There's a box of cigarettes on the table, but Naruto can see that it's empty. Those things are killing him; Sasuke shouldn't be smoking them at all and they both know it, but there's this nagging feeling, this _you should be a good friend -_ and he can't help himself.

"You know, I have some money if you want to-"

Sasuke shakes his head, settling back into the seat. "No…. it's fine. I'll just get some tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" Naruto presses. "I mean, it's not a problem-"

"Naruto." His voice is final, a bit annoyed. "It's fine, alright? Drop it."

Naruto bites his lip and forces a nod, his neck oddly stiff. He shouldn't be so insistent. Sasuke's right. "Sorry…."

Sasuke shakes his head, eyes dropping to the cigarette between his fingers. "It's fine… You're really insistent today, you know that?" he says, attracting Naruto's eyes again. "It's starting to annoy me."

"Well -" The blond stops, unable to come up with a retort. The desire to even try soon fades however, replaced by a soft, whispering, _be a good friend_. "Well… sorry," he manages. "I can't help it you know."

"First with the drinks," Sasuke continues, seeming not to have heard him. He gestures toward their empty glasses. "Then how I would get home-"

"I don't want you to have to walk!" Naruto protests, but Sasuke ignores him, voice rising with each sentence.

"Then with my cigarettes, and there'll probably be something else by the time we leave. I don't know, maybe my shoes or something. You want to buy me some new shoes Naruto? Are you feeling generous today?" Sasuke is slumped back in his chair, bangs half fallen into eyes that are derisive, sarcastic. The light from a nearby lamp casts orange shadows across his face, matching the tip of his cigarette, which he raises to his lips. Naruto's eyes flash.

"I'm just trying to help you out Sasuke," he snaps, leaning forward. "Don't get mad at me, alright? It's _your _problem if you're in a bad mood; you don't have to take it out on everyone else."

Sasuke's eyes widen, and a strange smile breaks over his face. He pushes the hair from his eyes, leaning forward until they're within kissing distance. "A bad mood?" he all but hisses.

There's a crazy light in his eyes Naruto doesn't like.

Sasuke lets the silence sit for a moment, filling it with his emotions. Sarcastic. Frantic, hysterical. He's not _getting it!_ "A bad _mood_ Naruto?" he repeats. His fingers are pressed into his scalp, as if trying to keep the ocean in. He knows that if there is even a tiny crack, all the water will come pouring out. He won't be able to stop it.

"This is more than a bad _mood_; I've been having the worst day of my _life_. I started feeling sick, so I went to the doctor. They give me some stuff to take, tell me it'll go away in a while. Guess what Naruto? It doesn't. This is my first pack of cigarettes in three days because I've been trying to quit, but now I figure, hey, I'm going to die anyway, why not spend the last few days happy?"

"What are you talking about?" Naruto asks, not liking the look in his friend's eyes now either. He can tell Sasuke's hysterical. He's put his last cigarette out on the table, grinding it to a pulp beneath his palm.

"Cancer!" Sasuke nearly shrieks, falling back into his seat. There are tears in his eyes, but he can hardly help it. That's the ocean coming out, the dams broken and the waters leaving any way they can. He hasn't cried in years, but now… now he is, and he feels like laughing too. He feels like cackling and curling up in a ball and falling down dead.

"I have cancer Naruto; don't you care?"

He sees the shock in Naruto's eyes. His friend doesn't even have to ask if it's malignant, if he's going to live… the presentation is enough.

"Oh… oh my god, Sasuke, I'm…."

(Sorry?)

There is only the sudden warmth of Naruto's arms around him, and, somehow, it's not confining.

"Don't you care Naruto? Don't you care? I'm gonna die, doesn't…." He has become a shriveled ball in Naruto's arms. He is devoid of water, everything flowing out in tears. "Doesn't that matter?"

"Sasuke…."

He can feel Naruto's hands in his hair, smoothing it beneath his fingertips. And the ocean keeps coming, pouring itself onto Naruto's shoulder.

"I am _so_, _so_ sorry…." Naruto whispers. And then he laughs, the sound gentle, choked with tears just like Sasuke is. "You know… it's probably from all those cigarettes."

A smile pushes itself onto Sasuke's face, and he hugs Naruto a bit tighter, a bit closer. He's still going to die. He's still going to fade away to dust, but he might as well be happy going, right?

"Probably."

A bit tighter, a bit closer.

The ocean recedes.

**finis**


End file.
